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Volke x Bastian - Fire Emblem
C support Volke: You there, with that silly dress. You have until the count of 23523423 to show yourself before I start throwing hairdressers with hedge trimmers. One... two... three... four... five... six... seven.. eight... nine.. ten.. eleven.. twelve... thirteen... fourteen.. fifteen... sixteen... seventeen.. eighteen.. nineteen.. twenty... twenty-one.. twenty- Bastian: Oh, dear! That's not enough time! Please keep those hairdressers and their hedge trimmers away from me, dearest Volke! ..I can see why your hair got so ruined now. Volke: Oh. Hello, Bastian-in-a-silly-dress. Bastian: D'oh! Don't insult my pwetty little dress. Indulge my stalkiness for a moment... Who are you working for? Volke: Knowing you, I'm surprised you haven't already checked on what I had for breakfast. Bastian: So, it's true, then... You are working for Crapland under Commander the Ikea? Volke: I serve no nation. I work for Captain E. B. Piratenhoedje. Bastian: BWHAHAHAHAHAHA- I mean who is that? Volke: Ten thousand minutes. Bastian: Ten thousand minutes? Volke: Give me ten thousand minutes to stare at the official art of a Rune Slayer and I'll answer that question. Bastian: Ta ha ha! Volke, really? Are you a fanboy? Don't tell me you seriously are a- Volke: Yes. No. Maybe. Bastian: Hmmm...what has the Ikea got brewing in that brain of his that involves this fanboying man of the hairdressers with hedge trimmers? Me thinks I should look into this forthwith! Volke: Shut up. You and your stupid silly dress should leave. .. You meanie. Who says loving Elsword is bad? Bastian: I heard that! - - - B support Volke: Back already? Bastian: A little bird landed on my shoulder, then pecked my ear, so I got angry and threw orange juice over it. But the bird flew away so the orange juice fell over my shoulder instead. But since I'm highly allergic to orange juice, I got hysterical and started running in circles. I fell over some stupid christmas hat that Santa had decided to drop right where I would be running in circles hysterically. And when I fell, that stupid bird came back again with a tiny Wendell in it's mouth! Yes, the information I'm not sharing with you is most interesting indeed. Delectable, even. Volke: You're seeing tiny Wendells. This is not good. Bastian: We all our habits have. You fanboy. In any case, my doubts about you and Commander the Ikea have been put to rest. Volke: How kind of you- Wait, are you seriously still wearing that silly dress? Bastian: That dress has becomen part of my soul. I've gotten attached to it. Just like you were attached to your DSi Charger when you were little. IT'S NATURAL. ..Consider it a professional outfit. Volke: Bastian? Bastian: Yeeeees? Volke: You're stupid. But have you ever considered cosplaying a Rune Slayer? Bastian: Iiiiiiii don't want you fanboying over me, dude. I'm sure you understand. Volke: Suit yourself. - - - A support Volke: You still want something from me. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here. Bastian: When does your contract with Captain E. B. Piratenhoedje expire? Volke: Heh. Why do you ask? Bastian: There is a very important matter I'd like you to attend to. It's.. about my dress. Something bad happened to it! And it's called CHILI SAUCE! AAAAHHH! Volke: I've known you for a long time now, and I've never seen such a desperate glimmer in your eye. Bastian: I'll cosplay him. Volke: Eh? Bastian: I'll cosplay the Rune Slayer. But you'll have to attend to it right away. Volke: That sounds...tasty. Unfortunately, I don't know how to get that chili sauce out of your dress. Bastian: ... Volke: Don't fret, Bastian. I shall find a way for you. I won't miss that Rune Slayer.. Bastian: This is awkward. You're really going to stalk me when I cosplay him? Volke: Oh, I'll sure do. I never pass up an offer to be with the love of my life.. I've been wanting to meet that Rune Slayer for over 20 years! I'm such a good fanboy! Plus, I've come to think you're not so bad, Bastian. You haven't laughed at me for being a fanboy. I like that in a Rune Slayer. Bastian: So I'm an official Rune Slayer to you now? Perhaps I should.. Flee to the other side of the world.. In any case, you would still have to wait until you've got that chili sauce out of my pwetty little dress. But do not dawdle, Volke. It is a matter of utmost urgency.